A Life Full of Adventure

(Sung to the tune of Jessie by Joshua Kadison From a payphone at SnoCon, Florey calls collect again To tell me how he's slaughtered 10 beastmen He says, "Hey, man, I've been thinking 'bout 4E D&D We could start a party...you, and Deb, and me. We'll buy the handbook and roll up some test stats Now, doesn't that sound sweet?" Oh, Florey, you always do this every time I get back on my feet. Florey paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be. By now I should know better, your dreams are never free. But tell me all about out little adventures in 4E; Florey you can always sell any game to me. Oh, Florey, you can always sell any game to me. He asks about my half-orc. I say, "Ke'lan he's just fine But I really want to run him one more time. I finally took his stat sheet down off the wall Oh, Florey, how do you always seem to know just when to call?" He says, "Get you dice together. Bring your characters and drive real fast....

Top Ten creature lists seem to be going around . To be different, and mostly to match my playing style, I have decided to try to list the most popular creatures in the WarHammer world. I have been playing WarHammer Fantasy Roleplay (WFRP) since some time in high school. That's at least 15 years. Within the last few years, the Black Library has released a slew of WarHammer Fantasy novels, and it seems I have spent more hours reading recently than I ever did playing or prepping a game of WFRP. Through my years of experience playing and reading, here's my list of WFRP's top "monsters". Snotlings Snotlings are the smallest of the goblinoid races. They are not the same as D&D's kobolds. They have only 1 strength, 1 toughness, and 3 wounds. You can pretty much sneeze and kill them. They are, however, humorous and fun to use against the party! Snotlings only attack if they outnumber their opponent ten to one. For weapons they use nets, clubs, axes, and,...

We are staring at a battle field of carnage and death. You know that battle is going on around you when you're in the midst of the fight, but you don't realize what is actually happening - people are really dying - until the battle is over. The Skaven ran, and we are left with the aftermath. All I could do was stare. I was ready to shoot another arrow, but there were no ratmen in sight. Beside me, I heard Starlana throw up her last meal. Suddenly I was tired. Starlana was sick, Gunther was injured, and Arty was dead. What, exactly, had I gotten myself into? I tried to comfort Starlana, while Randy came to Gunther and patched up some of his wounds. Apparently the man has some field medic experience. All the experience in the world won't bring Arty back, though. Lord Erik offered us the use of his tent while things were cleaned up outside. The remaining men spent the night digging a mass grave for their peers and stacking the rat men up to burn in a pile. Lady, hel...

Life underground was rough, with all the creatures that wanted to eat you. One never knew when a perfectly peaceful mining operation would turn into a fight for your life. Ambushes were easier to handle if you simply used one of your tools as a weapon. In his plate armor, carrying his maul, he looked pretty tough…for a gnome. He had heard about this land above. He wanted to look tough. He wanted to look menacing. He wanted people to skirt around him. He didn’t want people getting close to him. He didn’t want them to know he was scared. Gairloch stepped out of the cave entrance and into the brisk night air. The sensation of not having a roof over his head was disconcerting at best. Subliminally, he clung to the earth even more tenaciously than before. How did people keep from falling up? Gairloch Ironheart is a Gnome Cleric of Grumbar. He uses a maul for a weapon, and wears full plate armor.

Harlgrim Strongaxe had the potential to be the clan's next great engineer. As soon as his talent was realized, he was taken into the guild and apprenticed. Unfortunately, this was only months before the Ripclaw invasion. For the next two years, Harlgrim was assigned to a tunnel fighter guerrilla warfare team. Fighting came naturally to young Harlgrim, just as naturally as engineering. He stood his ground beside the veterans, attacking the treacherous Ripclaws and melting back into the tunnels to come at them again from another angle. Until one day, when the Ripclaws dropped a tunnel onto the steely fighters. Harlgrim was the only survivor of the tunnel collapse that day. He had happened to be on rear-guard duty. Nevertheless, the falling stone left Harlgrim battered and injured. He was unconscious for two days, alone in the tunnel. Harlgrim circled about through other interconnecting underground passages until he came back upon his stronghold's main chambers. It was at th...

We were trailing our two Skaven guides for hours and hours upon end through the underground passages when Lorr suddenly stopped in front of us and pointed down at some yellow mould on the tunnel floor. He was telling us the mould was deadly when it moved and shot out spores. In front of me, Starlana just dropped. I couldn't catch her. I tried, but between her and her gear, it was just too heavy for me. I guess people shouldn't expect me to catch them when they fall. There's probably a deeper lesson to be learned here, but you don't always see the bigger picture from an underground tunnel. I dragged Starlana back out of the mould's blast radius and we all waited for her and Ben to wake up. Randy crept forward and was offering some strange snuff he had taken from Lord Doyle's house. Gunthar advised me to not touch the snuff, but it seemed to do Ben a world of good. Lungs that had been injured by the spores suddenly felt fine. The two men continued on as ...

The WarHammer world is a vast place, much larger than our own globe, yet if you look at the map, it looks rather familiar. Where Europe would be on our globe is a place, a continent if you will, known as The Old World. It is analogous to Europe in the Middle Ages, consisting of a number of small, independent states sharing a similar cultural heritage and a common language, Old Worlder. Within the continent of the Old World, the largest country is known as the Empire. It comprises a vast conglomeration of princedoms, duchies, leagues, and city-states. The Empire was united under one Sigmar Heldenhammer, who attained immortality and is now the patron deity of the Empire. The Church of Sigmar is the guardian of the Empire. It is for this church that you work. A missing artifact of a sensitive nature has caused the Church of Sigmar in Altdorf to ship you down to Nuln. The day after you arrive, you are to meet up with one Albrecht Oldenhaller at his residence in Nuln’s merchant district. ...